ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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