if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
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There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
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Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
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