Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize