we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
