Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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