I'm gonna have a badass scar
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
