a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
