I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
