My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
