Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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