Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
