and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize