Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Is Oprah even human
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
