Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Buhtt sex?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize
