No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
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Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
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It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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