Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
