Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
