girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
