You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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