I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
