I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
