she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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