take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
