Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
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He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
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we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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