We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
