Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
