Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we're making bets on your personal life
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
