whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize