Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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