thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
