Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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