The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize