your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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