so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
These tits shall not be calmed
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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