Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
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James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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