She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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