his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
accomplished twins. life is a go
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
