If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
