if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
