your parents love me but you hate me
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
