you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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