is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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