I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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