I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
