Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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