why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
