The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
