Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
