Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
