Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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