I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
