He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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