I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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