Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
