we have pet lesbian snakes
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Randomize