This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize