I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
