I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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