ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
