and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
