census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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